Bit by the love-bug..

A couple of days ago a sister approached me and requested I give a lecture to some of the younger girls about guys. Normally I don’t like writing or talking about guys because I think girls talk about them enough as it is. But due to the fact I didn’t want people knowing who the talk was directed too I censored myself, so inshaAllaah this is for you, with love.

 

When I was in high school a lot of the guys in my school thought I was cocky. Yeah I know I’m light skin so because of that I was already given the short end of the stick my whole life, but in reality I wasn’t cocky, I just knew my worth. I remember throughout the year there would be guys who would try to talk to me or even compliment me face to face and they would somewhat expect that I would get happy. On the last day of school some boy I probably talked to twice in high school wrote in my yearbook, ”Laila, I think you are the prettiest girl in scarlett.” Wallahi I think I threw that yearbook away, when he handed it back to me I just gave him the blankest look of life and walked away. He expected me in someway, shape, or form to become excited because of this. A couple months back I bumped into another kid I went to high school with and the first thing he said when he seen me was, ”YO LAILA ME AND A COUPLE OF THE OTHER GUYS WERE TALKING ABOUT YOUR LIPS THE OTHER DAY SO WEIRD BUMPING INTO YOU” I told him he was sick and to not sit beside me on the bus (all the meanwhile plotting to start wearing niqaab haha)

 

What I’m trying to tell you is that there will be guys like this. Wallahi I have had guys CRY to me in my face begging me to be with them..meanwhile this whole time I just thought we were friends but they didn’t. I’ve had guys come to me and beg me to marry them in grade 10 (like seriously I was 5 what are you thinking) I’ve had guys cut ties with their closest friends for a chance to be with me..there was even guys who were brothers from the same mother both trying at the same time to deceive each other and talk to me. This is all so ajeeb, but you have to understand it will happen. You will get some guys that will be at your knees begging to be with you, to cherish you, and to take care of you. I’m not telling you that all these guys will be bad, not at all. But timing is everything. I’ve always wanted to get married at a young age, but this didn’t stop me from knowing me worth. When your in high school the shaydaan whispers to you because you see these guys everyday so he plots on you and whispers to you to be more drawn to this specific boy. The shaydaan will try and tell you, ”but you want to marry him right? you’ll end up getting married, so don’t worry about it, he’s lawful for you.” But that is not the case my beautiful sister, as I told you Saturday, Allah tells us, do not even come NEAR to zina, so we must stay FAR away from it which in reality means staying away from boys as much as possible. Especially if you know you would not be willing to marry him tomorrow given the chance.

 

There will be guys that come to you and play the best friend card, like ”you have a problem, I’m always here for you.” I remember in high school (and Allah is my witness I don’t say this out of cockiness) but almost ALL my guy friends had crushes on me, everything would be perfectly fine, me in a deluded world thinking were just the bestest of friends until he would open his mouth and tell me, ”I plan to marry you one day.” or, ”You don’t know how you make me feel.” I would just say, ”Oh shiiiiii—-” and that person would be cut off immediately, until finally I came to the point where I realized that girls and guys cannot be friends. You might be able to control your feelings, but you cannot control the feelings of another person. And once you being to develop feelings for another person you have lost the battle to the shaydaan because it will be very hard, if not impossible to remove yourself from that situation. My beautiful sister, I’m older than you by many years, and if theres one thing I wish to let sink into you, is that there is NO love before marriage, if you are in love before marriage then you have done something wrong, and have stripped yourself from all the barakah (blessings).

 

Wallahi I don’t care if the brother you are talking to is in grade 10, 11, 12. Men younger then that have gotten married, if the brother is serious he will find a way, if not he will find an excuse. Do not let him fool you with the, ”eventually we will get married” line as many before you have gotten fooled. Age is nothing but a number, if he really loves you or likes you as much as he says he does he will go about it in the right manner, wishing to protect your honour. Do not sell your religion for a couple of seconds of lust, losing your relationship with Allaah along the way. You are young, have fun (obviously halal), live your youth. Don’t bring boy drama into your life at such a young age you deserve to be stress free. You are so beautiful if only you knew not to sell yourself for such a cheap price, a man shouldn’t see behind the glass cage unless he’s buying.

 

I pray to Allah that this helped in the slightest manner, and that he strengthens you with this trial and you come out successful, don’t forget what I told you, it takes 30 days to make a habit, Ramadan is the perfect opportunity to change your life completely. Don’t let the shaydaan win, instead kick him to the curb. I know you girls were wondering, ”if we can’t talk to guys then how will we ever get married” from the look on your faces, I will inshaAllaah either talk to you girls about this or make a post on it InshaAllah.

 

I ask Allah to have Mercy and bless all of you young ladies, I know it might be hard now but it will get easier by the help of Allah I promise. I ask Allah to protect us from fitna and everything it brings about and to grant you all righteous spouses when the time is right. I ask Allah to protect us from being doritos girls and coupons babies (nestea if your top notch) (only the dugsi girls will get this..s/o to apt 906–at-least I think thats the apt number) and allow us to know our worth, esp while we are younger. I ask Allah to remove this test from light skin people being seen as all being cocky–its hard in these streets for a humble girl like me (haha that rhymed)– [Edman honestly I always do the ending parts for you, may Allah preserve you, you sasquatch lol seriously google it twindemmm]